I ought to teach him some sister-love. Pffft, as if he would ever dare to get rid of me before getting his head chopped off. By me, if you're wondering.
If you read the article, yeah yeah, he sure sounded nice and kind and all, but wait until you read his first draft below, the one I told him to redo... into... um... a milder version.
Read his first draft. Just. READ IT.
How to Make Your Sister Disappear by Faiz R
You see, sometimes, sisters can be very annoying. They tell you to comb your hair, tie your shoelace, brush your teeth… and report it to your Mum if you disobey. The same goes to my elder sister. It makes me want to rage. These can be done if your parents are not at home.
1: Go to kitchen. Grab a knife. Stab her. Burn her body. Beware because your mom may
scold you because you burnt the knife.
2: Tell her to go outside because mom is calling. Once she gets out, lock the door. Then, call
the police. Say that your sister is a psycho killer trying to get in your house.
3: Go on a vacation. When returning home, say that you forgot to buy the returning
ticket and you have no money. Then, run and board the airplane. When you arrive, say to
your mom she wants to stay.
4: When she is in a room, place all of your furniture at her door. Just leave a small hole. Make
sure she can’t go out. Everyday, give her only rice with egg and warm water. Sometimes,
give her plain bread.
5: Send her to a military camp secretly. Say that she is going to meet her friends. Then, just
leave her. Make sure she can’t escape. When she returns after four years, pretend you
have changed and send her to another camp.
WARNING! WARNING! If you follow the rules, you’re dumb. Please don’t do these. You will regret it. If you are desperate, lock yourself in a room.
I wouldn't mind No. 3, though.
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